Making the Unbearable Bearable
by LadyxMadonna
Summary: The R rating is mostly for language now but depending on how into the story I get there may be other reasons later. So this is my postUnbearable fic because I hated the way things turned out This is a total GrissomSara piece!
1. Dinner with Sofia

**Title:**_ Making the Unbearable Bearable_

**Disclaimer: **_I own nothing (but my 19th birthday is coming up in a few months...think I have any chance of getting them? No? I didn't think so). The characters are the property of Jerry Bruckheimer and Anthony E. Zuiker theirs to do with as they wish (though I would like to severely hurt them after "Nesting Dolls" and "Unbearable"). I am making no money off of their ideas (or mine for that matter but that's beside the point) so please don't sue me...I'm a student, I'm broke enough as it is!_

**Summary:**_ GSR - I hated "Unbearable" because I'm a major fan of Griss and Sara and I intensely dislike Sofia so here are my version of events. Possible spoilers for "Unbearable", "Nesting Dolls" and basically any episode of CSI ever._

**A/N:**_ I want to hurt the writers and producers after "Unbearable" but seeing as I live in Canada and on the east coast that's not exactly feasible so instead I am taking the liberty of using the characters MY way :evil grin: I live for reviews...no flames please and if you're not a fan of GSR back away quickly now...you have been warned. Oh and words in italics are the thoughts of characters._

**Rating:** _Probably somewhere in the realm of PG-13 to R-ish depending on how many reviews I get..._

Chapter One: Revolving Door

Sara walked slowly out to her Tahoe in the parking lot, _I can't believe that man! I mean when I said he might be too late I never thought I'd actually feel that way and then he goes and asks out that bitch? This is so not fair. I've threatened to resign before but I always knew he'd convince me to stay, now I'm not so sure. Maybe this is the end of the road for us. He's obviously decided that I'm not what he wants and even if I do really_ _want him it doesn't matter._ She unlocked the doors and slid into the drivers seat. Tipping her head back to rest against the seat she tried to slow her breathing and calm the fury boiling inside her. And then out they came, Sofia and Grissom walking side by side each to their own cars only to head off in the same direction even though Grissom lived in the opposite direction._ I cannot believe I let him convince me to talk about my childhood! I did not want to dredge up the past and so he comes over and acts all sweet and very un-Grissom and I break down and tell him everything and then he goes out with HER? I guess he doesn't want someone damaged..._ The tears that had been threatening to spill ever since she heard Grissom ask Sofia to dinner now came in a torrent of sobs.

"FUCK YOU GRISSOM! I HATE YOU!"

:tap tap:Sara turned to see Catherine standing outside her door. Sara rolled the window down, "What do you want Cath?" she spat, still seething with anger. Catherine winced,

"Uh well the very loud expletive screamed from here a moment ago kind of got my attention. Why don't we go grab some breakfast and have some girl talk? I'll get Nicky and Warrick to cover for me."

"I'm fine Catherine, thank you for your concern. I'm just going to go home and forget about this lab and everything related to it. Oh and if you happen to see Grissom tell him to expect my resignation on his desk first thing tonight." With that she rammed the car into gear and sped off, leaving Catherine standing confused in a cloud of dust. _What in hell has that stupid man gone and done now? I thought we'd gotten past all this! I swear to God if the lab loses a CSI like Sara because of his idiotic mind games I'll kill him! _

At the Bellagio:

Grissom and Sofia were seated at a table in a quiet corner of the restaurant. Grissom was nervously fiddling with the cuff of his jacket sleeve, _What am I doing here? I don't want to be here, I just wanted to take Sara...fuck not Sara, Sofia why can't get my mind off of her? Because you love her you big idiot._ Some part of his brain replied._ This was supposed to be a casual dinner between co-workers. Not a romantic date or something! I have no interest in Sofia_ _but what if this is sending her mixed messages? I hope Sara doesn't find out about this before I can explain it to her. I have to leave...this isn't where I wan to be._

"Sofia? I've..." Grissom trailed off as his cell phone vibrated against his leg, "Sorry, it's Catherine I've got to take this." He saw the look in Sofia's eyes as he walked off, _shit she definitely ha_s _the wrong idea about this. _"Grissom," he answered Catherine's call.

"Gilbert Grissom what the fuck did you do now? I'm on my way into the lab and what do I find in Sara's Tahoe but her screaming about how much she hates you! And to top it all off she's bawling her eyes out and you're no where to be found! What did you do Gil? She told me that she's resigning...again but I'm pretty damn sure she means it this time Gil. I told you to fix this. You don't want to lose her, I know you don't, she's a damn good CSI and she's fallen head over heels for you and you've still got your head so far into a fucking microscope you probably wouldn't notice if she was standing naked in front of you! Fix this, Gil. It's now or never and you had sure as hell better not pick never!" Catherine's tirade ended with her breathing hard and fast. Grissom was sure that if she could have strangled him over the phone line she would have. He flicked his phone shut without a word to the seething woman on the other end. _Fuck how did Sara find out about this? Oh shit what if she overheard me ask but doesn't understand why? I have to go. _Grissom headed for the door at the speed of light, pausing only long enough to ask a waiter to relay a message to Sofia,

"Tell her I have to go...there's something I have to do and I'm sorry if I gave her the wrong impression about tonight. Oh and tell her the lab will miss her." He raced from the building, waiting impatiently for the valet to bring his car around. He leapt into the drivers seat and sped off towards Sara's apartment as fast as he could.

TBC...

A/N: Please review! It gives me motivation to write! I'll try for updates once a week but I can't promise anything...


	2. Anger Management

**Title:**_ Making the Unbearable Bearable_

**Disclaimer: **_I own nothing (but my 19th birthday is coming up in a few months...think I have any chance of getting them? No? I didn't think so). The characters are the property of Jerry Bruckheimer and Anthony E. Zuiker theirs to do with as they wish (though I would like to severely hurt them after "Nesting Dolls" and "Unbearable"). I am making no money off of their ideas (or mine for that matter but that's beside the point) so please don't sue me...I'm a student, I'm broke enough as it is!_

**Summary:**_ GSR - I hated "Unbearable" because I'm a major fan of Griss and Sara and I intensely dislike Sofia so here are my version of events. Possible spoilers for "Unbearable", "Nesting Dolls" and basically any episode of CSI ever._

**A/N: **_Well this is up well ahead of schedule...I got one review and I got excited haha, pathetic I know. Well I hope you enjoy!_

Chapter 2: Anger Management Issues

Grissom tore through the streets of Vegas, praying he could get to Sara before she really did leave for good. _What have I done?_ _What if I lose her? I need to talk to her. _Screeching to a halt outside Sara's apartment complex he leapt from his Tahoe and raced to her apartment door. He knocked on the door, fidgeting impatiently while he waited for her to answer.

"Grissom?" her voice quavered through a crack in the door. "What do you want?" Her anger was evident in her voice.

"Sara I need to explain this to you...Please just give me five minutes and if you still hate me you can throw me out. I just...I need to talk to you Sar please," he begged. _God what if I'm too late? It can't end like this. It's not fair! I won't let this end here. _Sara stepped back and shut the door to release the chain. She yanked open the door unceremoniously and spun on her heel, heading towards her living room. "Sara please, let me explain," Grissom stood uncertainly just inside the doorway.

"Explain what Grissom? I get it. You come over here the other night all nice and sweet and then when you find out what I lived through as a kid you decide that I'm not what you want so you go out with Sofia instead!" she was trembling, the tears threatening to spill all over again. "You want a casual fuck right? No strings attached, with someone who doesn't have the emotional baggage I've got right? I understand perfectly Griss. God I feel so stupid. I've spent years pining after you, clinging to the hope that you of all people would be accepting and what do I get? Blown off for some cheap slut who'll sleep with anyone to get ahead. I've had it Grissom. I can't take this anymore. I need to move on with my life." Silent tears spilled down her cheeks. Grissom moved in to wipe them away, to offer her some sort of comfort. Sara pulled away sharply, "Don't fucking touch me. Just leave Griss. It's over," _Not that there was anything to begin with._

"Sara please! You don't understand!" he willed her to listen, _please Sara...don't leave me._

"I understand perfectly Grissom. I ask you out for dinner and you turn me down because you claim you 'don't know what to do about this'. Whatever Grissom. You obviously have no problem dating a subordinate, you just have a problem dating me." Venom dripped from her every word, Grissom knew it wasn't going to be as easy as it was before to convince her to stay. _She deserves so much better than me! That's just it Gil, she doesn't want better than you...she, God help us all, wants YOU! _Catherine's voice resonated inside his head. She'd made her feelings about his "games" clear. _It's time to stop playing Gil. You're about to lose the one thing you were trying to protect all this time._

"Sara I do have a problem...it's not with dating subordinates, it's just with dating. I'm not much good at it. I've spent most of my life alone and the prospect of sharing it with someone else scares me. What you overheard was not an invitation for a date. Sofia is leaving the lab so I offered her dinner as a good-bye as co-workers, I never meant to hurt you." His heart was pleading with her to understand.

"That's just it Griss. You never mean to hurt me and yet it happens all the time. I'm sick of the games, the mixed messages, the flirting and then being pushed away. I can't do it anymore Grissom!" Sara collapsed onto her couch, her multitude of emotions coupled with a lack of sleep was beginning to take its toll.

"I go to dinner with Cath..." started Grissom.

"Don't even Grissom. This is different and you know it! Catherine is a friend. Someone you've know for a long time. Sofia is...she's the kind of woman who would use her body to get her ahead. I know I accused Catherine of the same thing but it's different with Sofia. Catherine uses her sexuality to help solve cases and win over suspects...Sofia she would sleep with anything that had a dick and a pulse, the pulse being optional, if she thought she'd get something out of it."

"Sara I don't know what to do to help you understand. I mean when I got that phone call from Catherine during dinner I knew it was a sign. I can't keep my mind off of you Sara and it scares me to death! When I lie in bed, staring up at my ceiling all I can think of is you...wondering where you are, what you're doing and if you're okay. I want to fix this Sara, please."

"Catherine called you? At dinner? So where's Sofia? Leave her out in the car so you could make a quick getaway?"

"I left her at the restaurant Sara. You're so much more important than she could ever be. Sara from the moment I saw you at my lecture those years ago I felt something and it scared me. I always worried that the age difference would be a problem. That you'd find someone younger who would whisk you away from me and I was afraid of being hurt so I built the walls and shut you out. You know what? I ended up hurting anyways but more importantly I ended up hurting you and don't know if I can ever forgive myself of that, let alone ask you to. If you still want to leave I'll understand. I just hope that now you understand how I feel. I really do care about you honey, in more than a professional capacity." Sara sighed deeply. _What do I do? I want to stay but only if we can move past this...God Griss why do you have to make this so difficult?_ "Sara? Have dinner with me? I..I want to be with you...I don't think I could survive losing you," the desperation was evident in his voice.

"Promise me that you'll never, ever shut me out again."

"Sara of course! I hate that I've made it so that you have to ask me for such a simple courtesy. You deserve someone more.'

"Griss..."

"Let me finish Sara. I am going to try my damnedest to be that person Sara."

"Then yes Grissom, I will have dinner with you. Just don't make me regret it."


	3. The Dinner Date

**Title:**_ Making the Unbearable Bearable_

**Disclaimer: **_See the first chapter_

**A/N: **_I have written myself into a corner and I'm working on getting out of it...damn writers block. Don't hate me if this sucks...reviews are good...I like reviews...reviews make me happy . -D_

**The Dinner Date**

Sara's Apartment:

Sara's hands trembled as she did up the buttons on her jeans. She willed herself to calm down, _it's just dinner with Grissom, nothing big! Yeah right_ replied another part of her brain sarcastically. _You know damn well this is big...fuck it's HUGE! You're having dinner with Grissom for God's sake!_ She sank to the bed, head in her hands, wondering if she was just being naive. _You'd think I would know better by now. I've been hurt enough. _The rational part of her brain was trying to talk her out of the dinner. _Just go, see how things play out and if he screws up again you can break his heart, God knows he deserves it. _After a deep, calming breath she rose, picked up her keys and headed out to her Tahoe.

Grissom's Townhouse:

Grissom moved swiftly around his kitchen preparing dinner for him and Sara. He had decided to have her over rather than take her out in hopes that she would realize that she was something really special to him. The doorbell rang and his nervousness shot into the stratosphere. _Oh God...she's here. _He walked towards the door as calmly as he could. He braced himself as he slowly opened the door to find a very nervous Sara Sidle on his doorstep.

"Hey Sara... I was worried you might change your mind about coming...I'm glad you didn't," he mentally kicked himself for the slight double entendre but Sara didn't seem to notice.

"To be honest I almost didn't come," she wouldn't meet his eyes when she spoke. Her comment made Grissom even more nervous than he had been before. "So where are we going for dinner?"

"Um if it's alright I wondered if you'd like to stay here. I made some eggplant lasagna and a couple other veggie dishes...I hope that's ok." The blood was pounding in his ears, he felt like he was holding a delicate butterfly in his grasp. He wanted to keep her close but if he tried too hard everything would shatter. He moved aside to allow her access.

"That's fine Grissom," she told him, stepping through the doorway. _Why isn't he taking me out? Is he afraid to be seen with me? Is he embarrassed?_ The worry began to overtake her, _this was such a mistake...I never should have agreed to this!_ "It smell wonderful in here Griss." He led her to his dining room, lit only with candles and at the centre of the table there was a gorgeous orchid and star-gazer lily centrepiece. The room had an aura of tranquillity about it, immediately easing the fears of both. Grissom pulled out a chair for Sara, being as gentlemanly as he could and then went to the kitchen to retrieve dinner. They ate, making small talk and as Grissom cleared their dishes away Sara sat lost in thought. _So now what? I mean that was nice but why didn't we go out? I need to know what's really going on here...if he's just "dating" me to keep me from quitting or if he really does feel something. But what if he doesn't feel anything? I don't know if I can handle any more rejection right now. _Sara sighed inwardly and heard Grissom re-enter the room. She looked up to see him looking at her expectantly, wine glasses in his hand.

"Why don't we go into the living room and get more comfortable?" he was nervous, she could tell. But then she was nervous too so at least they were on the same page about something in their relationship. They reached the living room and motioned Sara to the couch where she sat, pulling her legs up underneath her and warily accepting the wine glass from him. Grissom sat in an easy chair across from her and for a moment both were silent. When Grissom gathered the courage to look Sara in the eye, he found he could not because her eyes were downcast, staring intently into the glass in her hands.

She chose that moment to look up at him, as though sensing his stare, "I uh don't really drink anymore Griss...the whole near DUI thing kinda threw me for a loop and I don't want to do that again..."she trailed off, a blush rising in her cheeks as she remembered the embarrassment of being picked up by Grissom at the station.

"It's non-alcoholic...sparkling grape juice really. I figured that it would be best considering that the two of us have a lot to talk about." _I need you Sara!_ His heart screamed but his lips didn't move. He was terrified of frightening her away.

"So...where do we start?" Sara's mind was a whirlwind of thoughts and her heart was wrought with emotions.

"How about a confession?" _Stay calm...you need to tell her this or you'll lose her forever._

"What kind of confession?" _Oh God here it comes... 'I respect you too much, I'd be undermining my ethics' blah blah blah. I am so sick of this. If he says anything like that I swear I'm going to throw this wine-juice stuff in his face and never look back._

"You scare me Sara. Not really you but the things you make me feel terrify me. Every time I look at you I wonder why I've pushed you away for so long. You always held fast and kept strong through all of the crap I pulled and I don't think I'll ever understand why. I've only ever seen you break down twice Sara and both times I wanted to pull you into my arms and kiss all your pain away but I was afraid how you'd react. I've been blocking people out for so long...staying unfeeling for so long the emotions you rile up in me are overwhelming." His words were tumbling out, wanting to tell her everything before she made her choice. "I've never told anyone that I love them before Sara, no one but my mother. I don't think I've loved anyone before but when I met you, it all changed. Forgive me Sara please. Give me one last chance to make everything right between us. I promise never to hurt you again." _There, it was kind of indirect but you told her you loved her. She's a smart woman, she'll figure it out._

"No more games Grissom. This is it. When I told you by the time you figured out what to do about 'this' never did I think I'd actually feel that way. But after that dinner with Sofia I started to feel like it might be too late. I don't want it to be too late Grissom." The tears she had been holding in through his confession started to flow. She heard him get up off his chair and felt him sink down onto the couch next to her. He took the wine glass from her hand and set it gently on the coffee table. _Now he'll probably just hold my hand again...God this man is infuriating sometimes. _Much to her surprise she felt him gently pull her into his arms, tucking her head under his chin and stroking her back soothingly. Sara unconsciously snuggled closer to him, breathing in deeply and trying to imprint every sensation she was feeling on her brain. The tears stopped and her breathing returned to normal but she made no move to get out of his embrace, nor did he release his hold.

"Sara?" he questioned. She tipped her head back to look at him without breaking their embrace. "I don't want it to be too late either." With that admission he leaned down and placed a gentle but passionate kiss on her inviting lips.

_TBC- reviews make me write, me writing gets reviews (I hope)...vicious circle isn't it? If the demand is high enough I'll continue on with this story._


	4. Concrete Angel

**A/N: **Okay so I said I'd wait for reviews before I went on with the story but I got impatient and I was itching to write more so here it is! Let me know what you think!

**Disclaimer Addendum: **(big word hehe) The song lyrics in this chapter are Martina McBride's "Concrete Angel". I thought it was very fitting and if you get a chance, watch the music video for it.

Chapter Four: Concrete Angel

The kiss was broken mutually, both needing to breathe and to take in the fact that they had just kissed the other. Music floated softly from the stereo,

"She walks to school with the lunch she packed,  
Nobody knows what she's holding back,  
Wearing the same dress she wore yesterday,   
She hides the bruises with the linen and lace.

The teacher wonders but she doesn't ask,  
It's hard to see the pain behind the mask,  
Bearing the burden of a secret storm,  
Sometimes she wishes she was never born.

Through the wind and the rain she stands hard as a stone,  
In a world that she can't rise above,   
But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place where she's loved,  
Concrete Angel."

Grissom felt Sara's tears on his chest and caressed her shaking shoulders. "Shh...Sara what is it? I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that without asking you first. Please forgive me." His voice was soft, pleading.

"Its not that Griss. It's the song, I've only heard it once before but it reminds me so much of my childhood it hurts. It makes me think about what could have happened. I hated my mom for what she did but she was just trying to protect me, though I went through worse in foster care..." she dissolved into tears again and he rocked her slowly, placing feather-light kisses in her hair.

"Somebody cries in the middle of the night,  
The neighbours hear but they turn out their light,  
A fragile soul caught in the hands of fate,   
When morning comes it'll be too late.

Through the wind and the rain she stands hard as a stone,  
In a world that she can't rise above,  
But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place where she's loved, Concrete Angel.

A statue stands in a shaded place,  
An angel girl with an upturned face,  
A name is written on a polished rock,  
A broken heart that the world forgot.

Through the wind and the rain she stands hard as a stone,  
In a world that she can't rise above,  
But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place where she's loved,  
Concrete Angel."

The song ended but Grissom still held her. Wanting to make that pain go away and never come back. "Sara?" She tilted her head back to look at him, "You said you went through worse in foster care...do you want to tell me about it? You don't have to I just think it might ease some of the burden if someone else knew." Sara sniffled and nodded but remained unmoving from her place in his arms as she told him the rest of her story.

"Well the very first home I was in was a family of seven. The father worked full time but the mother was always home. All seven kids were in foster care and the parents used them as free labour on their farm. The mother...Linda? Brenda? Something like that...she got sick of me clinging to her side. I was traumatized and since I couldn't or wouldn't work she sent me back into the system. The next home was a father and daughter, the mother had left on what Jake Cross, the dad, said was a business trip. The daughter, Magdalene, was very quiet and withdrawn around adults but when we were alone together she told me she was sorry I had to stay with her and her father and she would do everything to get me out of there. I didn't understand why, I suppose she was jealous or something but I was out of there in two weeks." Sara stopped to take a drink from the now warm grape juice.

"Wait...Magdalene Julia Cross? Molly? I worked her case...her father had been molesting her since she was five, she was ten when she shot and killed him. Her mother's business trip wasn't real. Six months before she shot her father she watched him beat her mother to death with is bare hands after her mother found him having sex with Molly. She threatened to call the police so he killed her. He told social services that both he and his wife still wanted to be foster parents even though his wife would be away on business for three months so he could get another young girl into the house. Molly told social services that he had been abusing you so they took you out. When Jake found out what she had done he tried to kill her but she had stolen a gun from her grandparents when she was eight and had been practising with it ever since. She shot him once in the chest, severing his aorta. She was trying to protect you." Grissom's eyes widened at the realization that his and Sara's paths had crossed before though they didn't know it at the time.

"I didn't realize. Wow, I can't believe she cared enough about my welfare, someone she had just met to get me out of her father's path and take the repercussions alone. I feel awful for holding a grudge against her for so long. The Cross household had seemed like somewhere I would be happy...I guess not. The rest of the homes are mostly a blur. I remember being raped by one of my foster brothers a couple houses after Molly's. When I told social services they took me out and put right into a new home. It was awful. I never stayed in one place for too long." Sara sighed and snuggled into Grissom's chest, the last week had been emotionally exhausting and she felt so safe and loved in his arms that she never wanted him to let go. Grissom listened as Sara's breathing evened out and slowed as she fell into a deep, restful slumber in his arms. After taking a moment to allow Sara's story to sink in he lifted her into his arms and made his way to the bedroom.

He layed Sara gently down onto the bed and was about to leave to sleep on the couch when he heard her whimper. "Grissom?" There were tears in her eyes and her voice was shaking, "please don't leave me." He went to the bedside and sat gingerly on the edge. _Calm down Gil. You're not going to have sex with her, you're just going to sleep with her...that's it! SLEEP! _Grissom lay down beside her and pulled her into his embrace stroking her back as she fell back to sleep.

Sara awoke cuddled into a warm chest and as she pulled herself groggily from sleep she tried to remember where she was and who she was with. As she inhaled it all came flooding back. She was in Grissom's bed with his arms wrapped protectively around her and his knee digging into her stomach. Her mind processed this, _shit! That is so not his knee! Oh God he's going to wake up and freak out and everything will go back to the way it was, us flirting and then him pushing me away. Great, just fucking wonderful. _"Good morning sleepy-head," came Grissom's voice, "sleep well?" _Okay he's way too calm this is freaking me out!_

"Uh yeah...you?" Sara stuttered her nervous reply.

"Absolutely. How could I not, with you in my arms." Grissom was at ease, he knew she could feel his erection digging into her side and he hoped she wasn't uncomfortable, physically and emotionally. He had been awake for a few minutes, contemplating things and he had realized that he wanted to show her how much she meant to him. He leaned in to kiss her and she pulled away, curling into a ball on the opposite side of the bed. "Sara honey? Did I do something wrong? I'm sorry...I just...I can't control the way I feel about you anymore. I guess we should slow down a bit huh?" he spoke softly, not wanting to scare her into retreating further than she already had.

"Oh Griss I feel like every time we take a step in the right direction something happens to tear us apart. Griss? You made a confession to me last night and now its my turn," Sara sighed deeply as she rolled to face him. "I told you last night that I was raped when I was in foster care but what I didn't tell you was that I've only been with one guy since then and all he required of me in bed was a decent blow-job and a few moans. I'm afraid I won't be able to please you Grissom." She looked away shyly, hoping he wouldn't leave her alone again.

"Oh Sara," Grissom sighed, "is that all honey?" Sara nodded. "Well sweetheart I hate to break it to you but all you have to do is stand around and exist and you turn me on. We'll take this slow alright?" He gently reached across the bed and pulled Sara to him, leaning down to capture her mouth in an incredibly sensual kiss.

_TBC...I still like reviews...they still make me happy! Next chapter will most definitely_ _live up to the R rating for sexual situations. _


	5. Only One for Me

**Rating: **_A hard R...if you are under 17 then this is definitely inappropriate for you. Be responsible and do not read this chapter if you are under 17!_ _This chapter contain scenes that may not be suitable for all readers. Reader discretion_ _is advised_. _Ha that was fun anyways on with the GeekLove!_

**A/N: **_Okay I'm not the best at writing these but this story just feels like it needs a fluffy chapter so wish me luck and don't kill me if it sucks._

**Disclaimer: **_see chapter one or two_

Chapter 5: Only One for Me

"Grissom?" Sara broke the kiss, "One more thing...I've uh, I'm not sure how to say this but I've never...you know _come_ with a guy before."_Well that probably just totally ruined the mood! Good going Sidle. _

"Well then, I guess that will be my first order of business. If that's alright with you of course." Grissom smiled, eyes dancing with delight at the prospect of giving her more pleasure than she'd ever experienced before. Sara blushed and nodded her consent and Grissom resumed the previous kiss with increased intensity. He rolled her onto her back, partially underneath him and his hands roamed her body, setting her nerve endings on fire with simple, sensual caresses. He broke the kiss long enough to slide her shirt over her head and toss it in the general direction of off the bed. He began placing slow, sweet kisses on the now exposed skin of her chest and abdomen, his fingers toying with her breasts through satin and lace.

"Mmmm that feels so good," she breathed. He reached behind her and lifted her slightly off the bed to remove her bra, tossing it in the direction her shirt had gone moments before. He tenderly kissed each breast, suckling slightly on the nipples before he moved his attentions lower to the buttons of her jeans. Her breathing was erratic, hard and fast as he slowly unbuttoned her pants, sliding them gently down her legs and dropping them over the edge of the bed. He kissed his way up her legs pausing to place a soft kiss on the hem of her silk panties before looking deep into her eyes for permission to continue. A soft moan escaped her lips as she stared back into his eyes, silently pleading for more. He slid the silky material down her long lithe legs and dropped it too over the side of the bed. His eyes were locked on hers as he slowly descended on her. Her hips bucked involuntarily as he began to kiss, lick and suck on every tender part of her. He slid a finger inside her and took her clit into his mouth, sucking and stroking in perfect rhythm. Her hips bucked again and she cried out "Oh God Gil! I...ohhhh..." she trailed off into incoherent mumbles as her body clenched down hard on his fingers. She shuddered and her whole body tensed as he continued his ministrations. "I'm so close Gil..." and with that admission he picked up the pace and she felt the knot in her stomach tighten and release her into oblivion, the rhythmic contractions of her inner walls clamping down on his still slowly stroking fingers. She screamed her release and he moved back up the bed to hold her close as she came down from the incredible high. As her breathing slowed she told him, "That was unbelievable Gil. Thank you." She smiled another shy smile as her hands fiddled with the buttons on his shirt, undoing them one by one.

"Glad you enjoyed it," he replied, sliding off his shirt as she finished with the buttons. She moved to his pants, making quick work of them and tossing them out of the bed. She paused, unsure of how to continue. He smiled at her and cupped her face and slid his boxers down, flicking them out of the bed. Sara stared at him _I guess he's not much different than other guys...I really hate this part _she thought as she moved to take him into her mouth. She felt his hands tip her face upwards and draw her up his body. "That's not what I want Sara. You are so much more than that. That has always felt dirty and it seemed so degrading to the woman. I don't want to degrade you Sara, I want to make love to you, slowly, sweetly and passionately." Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes during his soft admission. She moved to straddle his chest, the wet flesh between her thighs deliciously aroused as it rubbed against him. She bent down to kiss him, hips rocking gently. _God I am so aroused right now! I want him inside me now! _The thoughts seemed vulgar to her, and she was afraid that if she said anything it would break the spell they were under. She broke the kiss as she heard Grissom rummaging around in his bedside table. He turned his head and pulled his hand out triumphantly, a condom clasped between his fingers.

He ripped the package open and she took it from his hands. She slid it gently down his shaft, eliciting a very aroused groan from him. She tossed the package onto the bedside table and took him in her hands, slowly lifting herself up and sliding onto him, their moans of pleasure mingling in the air. She stayed still for a moment, letting previously unused muscles stretch to accommodate the welcome intrusion. As she began to gently grind her hips into his he flipped them over, pressing the length of their bodies together. "I want to feel every hot inch of you body Sara," he whispered in her ear and slowly he began to thrust his hips. She matched him, thrust for thrust until they both climaxed, screaming the others name.

"Sara? You still awake?" he asked as they lay cuddled together under the blankets.

"Mmph," came her non-committal reply. She tilted her head from its place on his chest to look at him. _Please don't let him be regretting this already!_

"I love you Sara. With every fibre of my being I love you and my only regret is that it took me this long to realize it." Tears filled her eyes,

"I love you too Gil." And with that they nestled closer together and they fell into the most deep, restful and sated sleep either had ever had.

– _Fin – _

**A/N: **_I hope this doesn't get deleted...got a little steamier than I was aiming for but I hope y'all liked it!_


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